Sunday, May 3, 2009
goodbye civilisation, hello mother nature!
♥ 11:27 PM
I got crossroads tomorrow and for this reason I found the need to blog to the boyfriend.
Dear Boyfriend,
I will miss you, a lot. You probably have no idea what my definition of a lot is, but you don't need to know. You'll find out eventually.
Most definitely impossible.To not see you for a few days drives me insane but us being closer and feelings growing stronger everyday makes it even harder for me to not miss you. Even when you're with me, I am thinking about you constantly. The thought of being away from you is unbearable. I sound like I'm in pain and is about to die but no, you just have to understand me to know how I feel. Now I can't even imagine being away from you for a week when 3 days already seems like the end of the world. Though we've only been together for almost 2 months, you're my boyfriend, my best friend and my lover, all three rolled up into one and to be apart from that is like asking me to gain weight. Being with you has made me joyous and lots of things has changed. You make me happy, so happy that sometimes I feel as if my heart is skipping beats as it anticipates for the next beat. So I'm hoping for camp to fly by fast or else, oh my god I will shoot the board of studies in the head.
I won't forget to call you everyday and every night. I'll update you on my day at camp and tell you how much I miss you. I will go crazy but hearing from you will be my medication for the day.
I'll miss you Stephen, I'll miss you a lot. (L)(L)(L)
(8)
If I got you, I don't need nobody else
Cause baby boy you way above all the rest
And when I'm with you, you make me feel complete
We can take on the world boy, just you and me
(8)
You ain't gotta change
Cus I'm so in love with you.
And it don't matter what they say.
Because I'm still gunna love you boo.
And yes imma be there anyway.
Cus its what i choose to do.
and you deserve the truth
and its all for you.
lang, the definition of awesome.
Monday, April 6, 2009
update
♥ 3:12 PM
I've been very disconnected from the computer and it's because my computer died ages ago and sharing computers with my sister is quite difficult. Also, the net died for a few days and I realised that I don't really need it to survive. It's just like an accessory which has to be there but doesn't really need to.
First, I didn't do my music thingy today which is good, more time to practice I guess. I know I will go "WHY DIDN'T I DO IT ON MONDAY!" but then, I don't know, we'll see what happens.
.. I kind of closed this and is editing it this morning so whatever I had to say yesterday has been forgotten.
One thing yesterday, I laugh at people like you. Work it out. Don't know then don't ask.
Was very annoyed yesterday and that would only be one thing, the obvious which I always complain about. Not in the mood to go into detail. Don't even feel like blogging. Bye
lang, the definition of awesome.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
rambles
♥ 4:41 PM
I haven't been online PROPERLY for a couple of days but it's okay 'cause it's going to happen more often. I won't be blogging as much, like I blog anyways but yeah just even LESSER than usual.
For the past few days I've been chucking quite a few all nighters and it's making me feel like shit every single day. Yes, I know I'm going to cop it but I can't help it if I don't feel tired at night. Yesterday was the only day where I went to sleep early I think. Anyways ..
I realise today that I eat my own feelings and it's so sad. Lots of fatty food entering into my body and AND what happens next, I don't know. It's making me sad but yeah. Like today ..
. IT'S SO SAD, and someone made me feel xdjgklxjdg so I ate even more. Yeah, insert story because I don't want to say it and I don't plan to. It's nothing major, it just makes me sound like a gay cunt. But yeah, eating my own feelings isn't good. I mean, I wasn't even hungry but I just had to eat something fatty. I know I won't get fat easily but still, health here not just looks! I looked in the mirror and noticed my face is getting chubbier. People may not see it but I do! I think I care but I think I don't at the same time.
Year 12's are currently having exams. Good luck to all esp. Steven. Study hard loser or else I'll hurt you. It's going to be approximately 2 weeks without seeing you but it's okay we'll go insane together. It's a build up for cross roads! WHAT AM I SAYING, I'm already going insane. Calmly insane. Don't know how that works but yes, calmly insane.
Hm so, date3 was so perfect. I felt as if my life came out from a comedy romance drama. Comedy because of those killed moments and the bullying but other than that it's just so, yeah.
It was movies and I have to say, Uninvited was shit but I really don't care 'cause being with my baby is all it matters. The gay part was when she slid the curtain or something and I shitted myself. Embarrassing I KNOW. After movies was half an hour of standing around for nothing. Next was stupid, I wanted to eat but no one would eat with me. We walked into the restaurant and then left after 293847509827345 minutes. *ahem, behind the menu book. OH MY FFFF. Yeah :$ x 834857982457. No words to explain what happened and how I felt when it happened. NOW I'M ALL HAPPY AND OH MY GOD, I'm going crazy. But moving on, then we parted from people and went to the waterside. It was such a precious moment adding one of the most beautiful scenery. I honestly felt like nothing could get to me and as if everything disappeared from this planet. Thinking about that night at the moment makes me just want to drop dead on the ground and lay there (in a good way!).
Nothing can describe how I feel at the moment because it's too much for words. Even if I tried to, it wouldn't seem like it's enough. I know there's only one way to put it and it's ............... NAH, everyone can go die and wonder.
lang, the definition of awesome.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
the unthinkable, the unimaginable
♥ 8:48 AM
I know I've been blogging about my boyfriend a lot but I can't help it. I'm just really happy. Since I don't tell people unless they ask, I blog, I guess.
First,
My boyfriend, my lover and my best friend, Steven. If I ever said that to you I'd kill myself even if I ever said it as a joke. I've never even thought of those words until you told me but it will never happen! Dreams like that can only make us stronger. I can reassure you I wouldn't want to let go and I'm never going to.
LAUGH OUT LOUD at the conversation Cynthia and I had when my were "grinding chalk". Vietnamese boys aren't good looking and are rare. No, my boyfriend isn't viet that's why he's good looking, right Cynthia? Extra bonus for me! We talked about other stuff but, private. Sorry kids.
My check list for school
- Start music assignment today
- Complete music Sunday
- Buy fabric for textiles Sunday
- Complete all sample work wk 10
- Art essay part 1 by wk10 Friday
- Art essay part 2 by wk 11 last day.
- Study for English by Thursday
- Maths, I have no idea!
I'm doomed! Why am I such a procrastinator! Because I'm the best but STILL! Okay, no net until I finish my assignments. GG to me for being "so smart"
lang, the definition of awesome.
Friday, March 27, 2009
rambles
♥ 1:34 AM
I have finished 3 of my artwork alongside with Danny. I cannot believe that we've actually accomplished 3 in one day and it doesn't look like shit. I'm not saying it looks great but just not eyesore. Now one more to go then a bright enough day ahead until I have to do my stupid music assignment and also my essays for art. Not to mention an in class essay coming up in English and also maths test. Okay, lets just say I have a pretty hectic week ahead and I as always am procrastinating 'cause that's what I do best, procrastinate. Procrastinate, prolong. I was thinking of which word to use but either word would make me sound like a sophisticated sick cunt!
Next, Easter Show. Oh boy am I sort of not excited. I want to go, but I really don't. BUT I REALLY WANT TO, but I REALLY DON'T! Okay I'll go. No I won't, not going. OH MY GOD, might as well slap myself 'cause this is going to go on forever. Either way I'm going to end up going! Too far to think right now. It can be put to the side but NOOO! I'm so undecided. This is going to drive me insane. Okay, I'm going. I'M GOING! Think show bags. (ROFL)
Going to be a great day today. At the moment its 2a.m and I'm not tired but I know I'll cop it hard when I wake up. zZzz.
lang, the definition of awesome.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
chucking an emo
♥ 12:55 AM
So my boyfriend and I have been talking about Titanic lately and tonight I was in the mood to watch it. It was a mission finding the stupid DVD but I guess it was KINDA worth it. It made me so .. I don't know, good feeling but then I got so emo at the end when the lady goes "I don't even have a picture of him. He's only in my memory". Something like that and it fully tore me apart.
So many things I want to say, but I'd sound so gay. Just, a lot of crying and heart felt moments.
Short and simple. Don't think I'm going to get much sleep tonight.
lang, the definition of awesome.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
♥ 1:56 AM
I'll be praying for you. You know who you are (ROFL).
A lot has happened in a week and everythings moving so fast. Everything has been great except one thing, my stupid dream. If it was bad enough to make my cry, I don't want to see the real thing happen. But for me to cry over a dream must mean, I'm really, really inlike with him.
2nd date on Thursday and it was awesome. Though nothing was planned properly and didn't really do much it was still good. Why, 'cause spending time with him is everything to me. I sound gay but, I don't care. We walked and talked and sat a lot. Sounds boring but it wasn't! Was suppose to buy commercial pattern but ended up buying perfume for my mummy, Vera Wang Princess. The only different thing that happened that night was the time. It didn't fly by fast like usual but it was still too fast for my likings!
I'm finding myself ..
Hm, nah next time! NEXT TIME. Not right to say it on blog. There's no moment (LOL).
It's been a week and a couple of days now and I can honestly say I'm the happiest I've ever been. I wouldn't change anything for the world because where I am now is the most definite right place to be. Baby, you make my heart melt and make me smile everyday. I'm the most luckiest person in the whole entire world 'cause my boyfriend owns everyone elses and he's mine!
lang, the definition of awesome.
